~ Unbiblical Church Government and Leaving "Quietly" ~

Unbiblical Church Government ~

Church government has become as corrupt as civil government in many of the same ways that most pastors preach against in the pulpit.  The Declaration of Independence states our government is "of the people, by the people, for the people" and that those in elected positions are to represent the will of the people.  Instead those in elected positions disregard the will of the people, and further their own agenda through whatever means and corruption necessary.  

The same is happening in churches all across America.  Abusive pastors push their authority onto the  people, and say that any disagreement is dangerous in that it "touches the Lord's anointed."  The problem with this is that David is referring to Saul who was a KING in that verse.   Be sure to read your church's constitution carefully.  Many are worded in such a way as to protect these pastors from accountability and removal from their positions,  and sets the members up for censure if they challenge the pastor.  Some of these men are very good business men.  They have gifts of administration that they use to grow their churches, and it looks like God is blessing, but it's only skin deep.  Underneath the numbers is a pattern of deceit, manipulation, corruption, and control.  

A dear friend wrote this to us shortly after we left the church and I think it's important to include here.  It is succinct and powerful, and seeing someone so far removed from the situation have such complete understanding of all we were experiencing was a comfort and blessing:  

Hi Sherri,

Thanks for sharing your story. believe it or not, it reads like a script of many conversations I have had with friends across America over the last few months. The stories we have heard of what I now call, "abusive pastors" is happening at an alarming rate.

Something has happened in out Independent Baptist Churches over the last couple of decades. I am going to write on it sometime, but will give you a few thoughts here.

1. The church has ceased to be a body, and has become an organization running around a pastor. Pastors have been taught that the church is THEIRS. The vision is theirs, the direction of the church is theirs, the emphasis is theirs, the pulpit is theirs, all decision are theirs. They have effectively become a New Testament version of a priest. Baptist churches have historically been congregational. A functioning body where each part is special and important. But today we have one-man-shows. The pastors need people so that their vision for their ministry can be fulfilled. The fact that voting against or questioning a decision of the pastor makes you "disloyal" shows that the churches are not allowed to function as a body. All voting is simply rubber stamping the pastor's decision.

2. The pastors are insecure. Because pastors have been taught that they are supposed to have all the answers, ideas, vision etc., they are threatened by any good men (or women). They see any different view or idea as a threat since it exposes the truth that they actually don't have all the answers. After all, they are the "man of God," nobody else!

3. The pastors do not study. The sermons and messages preached are basically a repeat of the same basic things they have always said. People are going to church because it is the right thing to do, but if you asked the average church member, they are starving for good, thought provoking, fresh, spirit-filled, enlightening, challenging messages. Pastors are good at making snazzy, alliterated, 3-point sermons, but are not getting to the holy of holies having insight burned into their hearts by the Holy Spirit of God. When pastors feed the sheep, the sheep grow, get wisdom, mature, become leaders and wise. When pastors are not feeding the sheep, the sheep wander and the pastors are forced to try to "control" the sheep. Pastors control sheep by "telling" them what to do, and making them feel guilty and ashamed when they don't obey. Pastors get insecure when "their" sheep start to wander. So instead of looking at how green the pasture and how still the water, they go to building fences and punishing the wandering sheep. I am convinced that when a pastor spends his life in study and prayer and thoroughly "feeds" the sheep, the sheep will be under the control of the Spirit. Man-made control is a substitute for the Holy Spirit.

4. Pastors have a buddy system. Our generation of Pastors has lead this idea that you basically follow the "man of God" without question. Unless he is committing adultery or preaching a clearly false doctrine, we are told to follow. Pastors have put themselves into a situation where they are accountable to nobody. But they, in fact, are accountable to the church. 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 outline what we call "qualifications" of a Bishop. I believe that list is the boundaries in which a pastor must conduct himself. It is how a congregation is to measure whether a man is suitable to enter and remain in the ministry. Being a pastor is a privilege, not a right. It is not a throne to defend but a service to be dedicated to. However, the buddy system establishes men into an unrebukable position. We have been taught to "leave quietly" if we cannot submit and obey. So really, the pastors who teach this in each other's pulpits, have helped to ensure that none of them ever lose their jobs. A pastor would rather lose families and income in the short term to retain his unconditional power and authority.

5. Pastors blame the congregation. It's not that there is never fault with the members or people, but the first place a pastor should check if the sheep are wandering is THE SHEPHERD. Something interesting about sheep is that they love the voice and love to follow the shepherd. If they are wandering, the shepherd must look first at himself. To say visitors don't stay because my members are not friendly. I would say, why aren't they friendly? Is there a spiritual need in the church that I have failed to teach and address? Why is there a negative spirit amongst the sheep? Don't blame, intercede. Teach and love those sheep.

Just know we are in prayer for you. Don't feel guilty, bad, or ashamed. No man is your lord. Just love the Lord, stay tender to Him, ask for His guidance and see the door He will open for you. 

Kory Mears, Missionary to the Fiji Islands  

(Please note, Bro. Mears has not read or endorsed this article, but has graciously allowed us to include his letter. All we can say, is "Amen, Amen, and Amen!”)

On Leaving “Quietly” ~

There is nothing "quiet" about Matthew 18:15-17,  

"Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone:  if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church:  but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican." 

I particularly like the "that every word may be established" part.  Hindsight is 20/20, but in our case, a recording of each and every meeting would not have been out of line.  However, we naively went into each meeting in good faith that everyone would at least be truthful.   

Never assume that people are above stooping to lying, regardless of their position in the church.  Trust me, it happens.  Even pastors can lie, and some do.  And a classic maneuver of liars is to accuse the accuser of lying (or worse) in an attempt to divert attention away from themselves.  Abusers have an uncanny knack for blaming the victim for the abuse and using their emotional response to further control and manipulate.