"Practice Makes Awful Perfectly Awful"

I love this section in Created To Be His Help Meet. Every time I read that book I am convicted about something different. I know I will never "arrive" when it comes to being a good help meet. It will never go away. Until I die I am going to be attempting to be the wife Josh needs me to be.....and probably failing more often than not. It's an effort to constantly be trying to refine what I already know, and implement new things that the Holy Spirit has brought to my attention; no doubt as a result of my failings. There is always so much room for improvement.

It's not what you "know", it's what you "do" with what you know. And attitude is everything.

I have found that I always have to be on guard to be submissive without the motive of manipulating my husband. To not have the mindset of "Well, if I just do what I know to do, he'll come around."

No.

If I do what I know to do, eventually I'll come around. It's possible to do all the right things in order to look submissive, but if it's not coming from the right "heart" attitude, well, let's just say that I might as well have "Jezebel" written across my forehead.

Most people think of a Jezebel as a scantily clad, loud woman who goes around blatantly trying to entrap men. But actually Jezebel was a very "spiritual" woman. In today's terms she would be the sort of woman who reads her Bible faithfully and prays everyday. She goes to church whenever the doors are open, and truly believes that she has a "special" relationship with God. She would definitely consider herself a submissive wife. She looks upon those who are spiritually "inferior" with pity and sanctimoniously wants nothing more than to "help" them. When they don't respond to her "help", especially if they are family, she will get frustrated, mad, resentful, and bitter. This happens so often that before she knows it she is practicing these negative emotions everyday. By the time these women get into their 50's and 60's they have turned into "mad" women. They easily lose control as their families look on in astonishment wondering what in the world happened. They may blame it on "hormones" or menopause or whatever, but the real source is sin. They haven't learned to control their emotions through daily practice. Instead they have practiced madness.

You always reap what you sow.

I'm sad to say that many women who go through life thinking that they are a spiritual authority end up losing their mental health. It happens all the time. I personally know at least three women to whom this has happened in one degree or another. It is not what God intended for women to think of themselves as spiritually superior to anyone, especially their husbands, whether their husbands are saved or not.

God is always just.

When the Bible teaches in Titus 2 "That the aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed..." this is exactly what it's talking about. If we don't learn these things when we are young and practice them on purpose, we will do the exact opposite and practice wrong by default. And "practice makes awful perfectly awful".

This leads to blaspheming the Word of God.

Those are some pretty powerful, fearful words. "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." The reason a meek and quiet spirit is in the sight of God of great price is precisely because it is such a rare thing. In all honesty, how many women do you know that would fit that description? They are a rare breed indeed. God has a reason for these admonitions and He takes them deadly seriously. Even those of us who are aware and on guard to these things can easily fall into the wrong mindset. Somehow we feel it is our duty as a good "help meet" to set our men straight. The devil is so cunning. But "it's never right to do wrong in order to get a chance to do right."

I have learned, well actually, I'm still learning, that whenever I disagree with my husband, or something happens that would normally make me irritated with him, that I have to count to 20, bite my tongue if necessary, :) and excuse myself discreetly so that I can go somewhere quiet to pray. For me. And for him, too, of course. But mostly for me. :) I cannot do this on my own.

That is so hard. It requires a great deal of humility. Of exercising not-much-used spiritual muscles to esteem others better than yourself because "only by pride cometh contention". It's what reverencing your husband is all about. We would never talk back to, or argue with a king out of reverence, and deference to his position of authority. Just so, treating our husbands that way should never be considered even the remotest option. While our positions as wives are not inferior to the position of a husband as it would be to a king, our heart attitudes should be one of humility and reverence as an act of our will; reverencing our husbands because the Word of God requires it.

You can be right, or you can be happy. If you insist on being right, keep in mind that "God resisteth the proud". Next time you are frustrated, irritated, or mad at your husband, stop and think for a second that it may not be your husband at all, but rather God Himself resisting you for your pride. If instead you choose to be happy, remember that He "giveth grace to the humble." In time, you will come to find that you are both right and happy, not because your husband has changed, but because you have.

Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."