Mom's Famous Brownies

Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.

Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.

Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr. "no, no."

Add 2 cups sugar.

Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.

Measure 1/2 cup cocoa.

Take shortening can away from Billy and bathe cat.

Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.

Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.

Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.

Take telephone away from Jr. and assure party on the line the call was a mistake.

Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.

Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and mix ingredients.

Let cat out of refrigerator.

Pour mixture into 9x13 inch pan. Bake 25 minutes.

Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn.

Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

Prepare frosting.

Take the teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away - far away.

Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. Put Jr. in playpen.

Run to check brownies in oven.

Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.

Remove burned brownies from oven and call husband to pick up brownies at store on the way home.