That We Should Be to the Praise of His Glory

I really need to be more faithful at keeping up with my blog. By the time I finally get around to posting again, so much has happened that I want to share that I can hardly contain all my thoughts, let alone write them down coherently. I guess I'll just jump right in and hope for the best.

God's faithfulness to our family continues to blow me away. Thank you all so much for your phone calls, comments here and on facebook, emails, and even cards and letters that you have sent asking about my parents. I am so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love we have received. You have been a blessing!

My dad continues to do well. Only within the last two weeks have they had permission to write directly to each other. Before that their letters were via me. I would have to retype them in third person, and put them in an envelope that didn't have "this letter was sent from a federal prison" stamped on it in order for them to go through. I'm glad that's over. I was so busy, and that was just one more thing I had to do. I was glad to do it, really. But, I am glad it's over. They are, too! They write to each other every day, and you can hear the relief in their voices that they now know for themselves how the other is doing.

My dad received a "Baptist Bread" daily devotional from another Christian inmate shortly after he arrived, and was excited to see that our Pastor writes for it. I know he was concerned about us being in a good, solid church, and that has helped reassure him tremendously. Right now, we are praying for a good quality, larger print KJV study Bible for him. His friend thinks he can get him one from the same person that sends him the "Baptist Bread". He only has a paperback Gideon Bible right now that I know he's very thankful for, but he does miss his old Bible. We are also praying that his Honduran friend, Javier, from MT will be transferred to my dad's prison. God has a way of scattering the salt though, so mostly I'm praying for God's will, and for Him to be my mom's, my dad's, and Javier's sufficiency in all things.

My mom is doing fabulous as usual. She had a PET scan the beginning of last week and it showed that she only has cancer in the one spot. It hasn't spread, and that is a HUGE praise! I've mentioned before that when my mother-in-love had her biopsy the cancer spread rapidly to many other major organs, and that is a very common occurrence.

She is supposed to have a lumpectomy done any day now. She never knows the day or time of her appointments until they come to put her in The Shoe the day before. I know it has been difficult for her not being able to mentally prepare for things until she finds herself in the middle of them. For her PET scan she had to lie completely still for 18 minutes on the spur of the moment. She really had no idea what to expect, I don't think. She did well anyway though.

Protocol after the lumpectomy is usually a combination of both radiation and chemotherapy, and the recovery period is six months. My mom did tell her doctor that she would prefer not to do the chemotherapy or radiation, and he very respectfully said that they would cross that bridge when they came to it. She will be moved to a medical facility in Dallas, TX for both the lumpectomy and the duration of her recovery. For my mom we are praying that if God chooses not to continue to completely heal her for whatever reason, that the lumpectomy will be successful; that she will not have to undergo radiation or chemotherapy; and that she will be moved closer to Amy and I afterward, if not released altogether, in addition to peace, safety, and effectiveness wherever He has her.

Here at home things are going great. We love it here! In some ways it's a challenge to start over in a new place. It's difficult to go from being well-known, loved, and respected, to being a stranger; having to prove yourself over again to every person you meet. But it's always nice to have a fresh start every now and then, too.

God is still showing us the multi-faceted answer to the "why?" behind moving us out here . We are so grateful that He continues to guide and direct in such crystal clear ways; reinforcing our confidence in His perfect plan.

I've been pondering a lot lately the thought that, just as love is a choice rather than a feeling, so is faith. It's true. Neither love nor faith are matters of the heart, but of the will. We make the choice to love God and our families everyday, and we must make the choice to believe God will do what He says everyday, too. It won't just come to us. We have to choose it.

This past Sunday was Josh's first day as the music director of our church. It's a lot of responsibility, and entails much more than just leading the singing for the services like we're used to. He'll be the choir director, in charge of the sound board and of scheduling and organizing all of the specials, organizing all the church music, etc... I don't know how, aside from the grace of God, but our pastor has been doing it all single-handedly for quite some time now, and it is a definite need that we can fill. Josh is still wondering how he's going to be able to manage it all, but he knows it's just a matter of faith. In our weakness, He shows Himself strong. "Faithful is He that calleth you who also will do it."

The last two days in my devotions, God has been repeating Himself most emphatically. I'm reading through Psalms and the book of Hebrews, and right after I read in Psalm 95: 7b-11 ~ "To-day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your heart, as in the provocation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness: when your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my work. Forty years long was I grieved with this generation, and said, It is a people that do err in their heart, and they have not known my ways: Unto whom I sware in my wrath that they should not enter into my rest." ~ I read the EXACT SAME THING except in greater detail in Hebrews 3 & 4! Read it sometime. You will be blessed!

I kept thinking, "I know the Lord must be trying to tell me something here, but what is it? What IS it?" I, once again, began wondering about the children of Israel. What was it that caused them to so soon forget the great things that God had done? Why, they continuously had a cloud to follow by day and a pillar by night, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES, to remind them and they still doubted God's ability to take care of them! And then it dawned on me. That's me. God has been so faithful to answer my prayers, and miraculously meet my needs day in and day out, and I still have fallen back into the rut of trying to do things in my own strength through the deceitfulness of the sin of unbelief. You name it, and I've attempted to do it in my own strength.

Even in the midst of all this:

~~~

About two weeks ago, Josh came home from work and decided to take us all to dinner at a quaint little restaurant nearby that is owned and operated by Christians. We were all so excited! They serve warm, homemade pudding as soon as you are seated, and the kids thought that was just the best thing. They unanimously ordered pancakes which I was thrilled to notice were the cheapest thing on the menu even though it came with a drink and a dessert.

We enjoyed a nice quiet dinner, and were just finishing up when a sweet lady and her husband came up to our table, and said to Josh, "Sir, you have a most beautiful family, and your children are so well behaved! What a joy it has been to watch you this evening!" Before we could even say so much as a "thank you" they had walked away.

Minutes later, our waitress came to our table and informed us that someone had paid our bill in full as a random act of kindness.

All Josh and I could do was sit there, completely dumbfounded, with eyes full of tears, and hearts overflowing with gratefulness ~ as we gave all glory to God.

~~~

Last Saturday I was none too happy about having to do some shopping in town, so I decided to keep my eyes open for a blue shirt that would go with one of my favorite and most comfortable church skirts. I've been looking for almost a year, and just haven't been able to find that perfect shade of blue. I prayed about it on the way to the store, and even while I was walking through the two different stores.

I couldn't find anything that was even remotely workable. As I was leaving the last store empty-handed, the Lord assured me that I would have a top to go with my skirt by the next day. I paused, kinda laughed, and grumpily said, "But, Lord, I'm going home now. This is why I don't like shopping. I can never find what I'm looking for. And I know what I have in my closet. I've had this skirt for a year, and nothing I have matches it." Again, He assured me it would happen.

That night, with a frown, I laid out the skirt and the plain, boring white top that I always wore with it.

We had a church picnic after the morning service so I was rushing around putting the finishing touches on the BEST bakes beans I've ever made when I splashed some of the sauce on that pristine white top. I made a mad dash upstairs because it was time to leave, and prayed for help. In a frenzy, I grabbed a white sweater cami, and navy blue jacket that I've only worn once, if that, and threw them on. They matched that skirt perfectly.

I opened my jewelry box to look for a plain silver necklace that I had in mind, and a blue necklace that I forgot I had was lying right there. It was the "perfect shade of blue", and tied the whole outfit together like magic!

I never would have thought of putting those particular pieces together myself. What cut me to the heart though was that, in spite of my bad attitude and spirit of unbelief, God went so far above and beyond just a new top. He gave me a necklace to go with it, too. What's more, every time I looked in the mirror that day, it sparkled as if to remind me that God is faithful and true, merciful and loving.

~~~

On Monday Josh realized that he was scheduled to be out of town for five Wednesdays in a row. He knew nothing of this before he committed to being music director. Immediately we began to pray together that God would change his schedule. Tuesday night when he got home from work, the first thing he said was that he didn't have to go out of town this Wednesday. The entire project had been cancelled until further notice!

~~~

Later that night after all the kids were in bed, Josh and I were in the "parlor" talking when we heard a strange choking sound come from Alia's room. We saw her run into the bathroom, and when we asked her what was wrong she said that she had swallowed a penny.

Yes, she is eight years old. Plenty old enough to know better than to put money in her mouth but anyway...

She could talk and breathe just fine, and we figured she'd swallow it and be none the worse for it. But she kept trying to swallow and it wouldn't budge. Then she started to panic. Josh got up to try to help her get it out because it was stuck about half way down her throat. I could see it protruding through her skin. He tried the Heimlich maneuver on her to no avail. Then he tried sticking his finger down her throat, but he couldn't quite reach it. I'm not a good person to have around in an emergency. I can rise to the occasion if no one else is around, but Josh was home so I was glued to my chair. I calmly prayed, "Lord, you have to help us get that out of her throat. Quickly! Please, Lord. We need your help right now!" She began to vomit profusely, and about the third time a QUARTER shot out of her mouth and clattered to the floor.

Obviously we have some work to do on identifying change, but that was the second huge answer to prayer in a matter of hours!

~~~

The children of Israel began to doubt when they stopped "looking up" at the cloud and pillar. Instead they were looking around at their circumstances. They began to fear, and ask "What are we gonna do? There's no water or food anywhere in sight! What are we gonna do!"

How often I find myself asking that same question, and more. More times than I care to admit I've found myself asking "What?" "Why?" "When?" "Where?" and "HOW???"

"Our finances are tight. What are we going to do about...."

"I can barely get all my stuff done when I'm not homeschooling, how am I going to manage it all when I am?"

"Why does God always ask me to do things that I struggle with? Why can't He have me doing something I'm good at for a change?"

"We already have more stuff to do than hours in the day to it, and we're taking on more stuff? This is nuts."

Then of course, I'm overwhelmed. And for what? Nothing.

Hebrews 4:9-11 & 16 "There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into His rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from His. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

Once again God has been blowing me away with His greatness. I will never cease to love Him. I will live to love him more...and more still. I will choose to hear His voice. I will rejoice when I hear it, and eagerly anticipate it when He's silent. With every beat of my heart, I desire to "be to the praise of His glory."